A busy and stressful lifestyle may lead to a less than satisfactory sex life, but let that bother you no longer – improve your libido by making small changes in your daily life
Even Napoleon Bonaparte was supposedly not always in the mood for ‘sexy time’, at least if the famous phrase “Not tonight, Josephine” is anything to go by. It still resonates with many men today, because like the 19th-century emperor, they have a lot on their minds. A flagging libido is often a symptom of a frenetic lifestyle. Those caught up in the rat race tend to put sex low on their priority lists and lose touch with their bodies. Stress, lack of sleep and
not enough exercise can make a robust sex drive crash and burn.
On the bright side, there are many effective and holistic methods to help get your mojo back. From increasing your testosterone levels to energy healing, here is what the libido experts recommend.
Like to Move it
“Men who are stressed all the time find it almost impossible to have good sex because of destructive changes in body chemistry,” says Scott Hays, author of numerous books, including Sexual Fitness for Men. “Yet the research is clear that even lightweight exercise programmes cause a dramatic drop in stress chemicals and an increase in sexual interest.” Exercise enhances blood flow to the nether regions and releases feel-good endorphins leading to a stronger libido.
“And we’re not talking hardcore athletics, either. Men who work out, even moderately, have increased sex drive,” adds Hays. He recommends creating a fitness programme with cardio, resistance training and some stretching. Go to the gym for half an hour most days of the week to increase endurance, energy and sexual desire. “Harder workouts, if you’re so inclined, can boost your sex drive even more.”
Tantric Tricks
Contrary to popular belief, tantric is a lot more than just marathon sex. Originating thousands of years ago in India, it is a style of meditation and sacred teachings that encompass the emotional and spiritual too. Scientists have proved that yoga can increase blood flow to the genitals and promote sexual arousal in individuals with low libidos. Swami Vivekananda Saraswati, the founder of Agama Yoga, a tantric yoga school headquartered in Thailand, says there are many factors in tantric yoga that are beneficial to men.
“[This form of yoga] will give you control over energies, emotions and mental states, where the low libido is caused by koshas (deeper layers within the body),” explains Swami Saraswati. His top recommendation is a ‘seated forward bend’ known as paschimottanasana. Don’t let the tonguetwister name put you off. “It is a yoga asana (position) that has the reputation of increasing sperm density, and therefore fertility and libido.” Offering a holistic alternative, tantric yoga can increase hormone production and unblock chakras (spiritual energy points in the body).
Make Love Not War
Animosity, resentment or being hen pecked, will chill the libido faster than a cold shower. “Men in their relationships generally need to have sex in order to feel loved, but women need to feel loved before they can have sex. This creates a real catch-22,” says Nikki Green, a Hong Kong-based psychotherapist at healthierrelationships.com. When men become stressed they shut down emotionally and don’t communicate; and their partners react to this by getting angry, or nagging them about how they feel. Conflict doesn’t just resolve itself. So make time, preferably when you are in a more relaxed mood, to communicate with your partner. If it’s difficult to open up or your relationship seems like it is beyond repair, consult a therapist. Green says that couple’s therapy can bring those who can’t see the wood from the trees to a really connected place. “Really good sex with one partner is really the best way to maintain libido,” she adds.
Pinned Down
Acupuncture offers men with low libidos, long-term solutions by addressing the root problems. “Lack of sleep and stress are two of the most common causes for low testosterone and diminished libido in men,” says Eric Kerr, an acupuncturist and alternative medicine practitioner at The Blue Buddha in San Francisco. Stress causes the body to go into fight or flight mode, which floods stress hormones like cortisol into the bloodstream.
“Men who are stressed find it impossible to have good sex because of destructive changes in body chemistry”
~ Scott Hays
“Cortisol and testosterone have an antagonistic relationship, so like a see-saw, when cortisol goes up, testosterone goes down,” he says. Acupuncture can increase testosterone levels in men by naturally activating the body’s relaxation response, and treatment will help patients get a good eight hours of sleep. “It is all about movement – getting blood moving. And no, acupuncture needles do not get placed anywhere near the penis when men come in for sex-related health issues.”
Whet Your Appetite
Aphrodisiacs, such as oysters, often first come to mind when we think of whetting our sexual appetites. But it’s not something you eat everyday. Peter Ehrlich, a Canadian entrepreneur, has created a gender-based cereal called ‘Sexcereal’, directed at increasing the sex drive. Basically, it has testosterone-boosting vitamins and minerals including zinc, magnesium and vitamin E. “Sexual health is important because lots of us want to procreate and have a healthy sex life, so it [Sexcereal] is just one thing to add to your diet,” he says.
The men’s version of this cereal, formulated by professional nutritionists, contains ingredients, such as camu camu, bee pollen, maca and black sesame – all selected for their libido-enhancing qualities. “[The] camu camu [berry] for example has the highest concentration of vitamin C than in any other food in the world,” says Ehrlich. Vitamin C improves vascular function and increases testosterone, which can turn up the heat in the bedroom. Currently, Ehrlich’s product is available online at sexcereal.com. Other sex power foods include watermelon, ginger and dark chocolate.
